Last Updated:
August 13th, 2025
For those struggling with an addiction, many believe that rock bottom needs to be hit before they’re “allowed” to get help. Powerful forces are at play that hold people back from reaching out for help.
But why do we wait? Why do we tolerate so much pain, convince ourselves we’re still in control and postpone change until we’ve lost everything?
If you’re standing at a crossroads, unsure whether things are “bad enough” to seek support, this could be the moment that frees you.
What is meant by “rock bottom”?
“Rock bottom” is a phrase most people have heard when learning about alcohol and drug addiction. It abstractly represents the point a person hits when they cannot sink any lower. Behavioural psychologists and experts may mention rock bottom as it relates to substance or alcohol misuse, but rock bottom can actually happen to a person with any form of addiction or mental health problem.
Rock bottom represents a moment where a person thinks, “Life cannot continue this way. There must be some change that happens because I can’t get any worse.”
A person might plummet to rock bottom after a job loss, a relationship breakup or when they come to terms with the loss of a loved one. However, it may be advisable for some people to recognise the potential positives that come from hitting rock bottom. There can be a cathartic relief simply through admitting you are at rock bottom right now.
Yet for some people, this admission may appear to be an unreachable destination that’s shrouded in a dark veil of fear, shame, or guilt.
Why do we wait until rock bottom before we get help?
The nature of the question makes it difficult to answer. Why does anyone delay getting help until everything feels broken? For many, it’s because admitting a problem feels like admitting defeat.
For some, resisting treatment becomes a defence mechanism, a way of preserving the illusion that everything is still under control. Admitting you’re at rock bottom might cause a dissolution of every illusion. It can force us to confront damage that has built up over time. This damage may be found in broken relationships, neglected responsibilities and eroded self-worth. Rock bottom is difficult to admit because it forces us to look at how far we’ve strayed from the life we were hoping to live.
In terms of substance use, addiction also has the propensity to cloud our perception. It can convince us that we’re in control, even when the opposite is clearly true. We might minimise the issue or compare ourselves to others, who “have it worse.”
Yet rock bottom can, in some cases, become a force for positive change. When we feel as though we are falling, hitting rock bottom may actually become the only terra firma we can stand on. Waiting until things fall apart often makes it harder for complete addiction recovery.
You don’t need to hit your lowest point to ask for help. You often only need to wade through the shroud of fear inherent to lifestyle change.
The inextricable relationship between change and fear
For most of us, the word ‘change’, when applied to someone else’s life, often evokes a positive connotation. After all, a change can be as good as a rest. We like to imagine fresh starts, second chances and brighter tomorrows as loved ones choose to make changes.
Yet when an outwards-facing change is turned back towards us, it can be scary enough to freeze us in our tracks. Change has always been linked to fear, to varying degrees. For a person with an addiction, a change in their life will be indelibly marked by fear, for multiple reasons.
Your fears are valid, but they may also become the very walls that trap you in addiction. Understanding the dynamic between change and fear may help you break through those walls.
“What if I try to stop and fail? What if I’m not strong enough?”
This fear of failure can be so intense that staying stuck seems like a better option than risking disappointment.
There is also the identity of being an addicted person that has woven its way into your sense of self. It affects how you cope, how you socialise and how you get through each day. Letting go of that can feel like losing a part of who you are, even if you know it’s causing you harm.
Finally, there is the unknown. The unknown can represent a bottomless chasm. Being wary of change and adapting to the unknown are skills that helped us evolve. Our ancestors used them to stay safe and sheltered. For many, the fear of rehab and recovery is tied to the unknown: new routines, unfamiliar faces and confronting difficult truths head-on.
But remember: A leap of faith is needed in order to fly.
“I can stop when I want. It’s not that bad yet. I just need to get through this rough patch.”
Yet the destructive nature of addiction can convince us we’re in the driver’s seat, even when we’re heading for a metaphorical cliff.
The illusion of control feels comforting. It tells us we have autonomy when the rest of our life grows more chaotic. Admitting we’re not in control might be accepting a failure or a weakness.
Yet, in truth, it’s a powerful act of honesty and strength that can strip away the fear surrounding major lifestyle changes.
How can I befriend change and move forward?
It is tempting to tell ourselves that real transformation will arrive for us at a breakthrough moment. However, more often than not, real change is a slow, steady process that begins with a shift into a recovery mindset. The key is learning to meet change as something manageable, not monstrous.
Here are some suggestions:
I need help with an addiction in my life
If you’ve been waiting for a clear sign that it’s time to change, this might be it. Rock bottom doesn’t have to be the moment your life falls apart. It can be the moment you decide you’ve had enough of fear, pain, or pretending you’re okay.
Here at UKAT, we help people take that first brave step before things reach crisis point. Whether you’re struggling with addiction yourself or supporting someone who is, our team offers judgment-free, medically supported detox and long-term recovery planning tailored to your needs.
You don’t need to figure it all out alone. Let us help you transform fear into momentum.
At UKAT, we offer:
- A compassionate and experienced addiction care team
- Comprehensive medical detox
- Evidence-based therapy and relapse prevention
- Ongoing support through tailored aftercare
It’s not too late to receive the help you need and deserve. Reach out to UKAT and take the first step towards a sober life, free from the shackles of addiction.
