Tips for Living with an Alcoholic

Sharing a home with an alcoholic is like being in a constant state of bracing for uncertainty. Some days they’re present and familiar, while on other days they feel utterly out of reach.

Their addiction may shape the atmosphere of your home, but it should not dictate your sense of safety or self-worth.

We’re giving you practical ways to take care of yourself and support your loved one, without sacrificing your own stability in the process.

What is it like to live with someone who has an alcohol addiction?

Living alongside someone with alcohol addiction can feel like every day is less stable than the last. You used to feel safe living with them; you knew they wouldn’t put you in an uncomfortable or dangerous spot. Now, that sense of security is gone and you’re faced with tension and uncertainty.

When alcohol begins to take centre stage in their life, it feels like your feelings have become secondary. You could feel isolated or guilty inside your own home, where you’re supposed to feel at ease. Yet it’s critical here to remember that their addiction is not your fault.

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a recognised medical condition. Their recovery depends on whether they choose to accept help, not your ability to fix life for them.

5 practical strategies for coping while living with an alcoholic

Sharing your life with someone who struggles with alcohol can feel like a never-ending battle for your emotions. There will be times when you’re torn between caring for them and protecting your own well-being.

If you’re feeling exhausted or unsure how to get through each day, the following steps can help you regain stability and protect your mental health while living in a difficult situation.

1. Establishing clear and realistic boundaries

Setting up some boundaries can help define what you can live with and what you cannot, especially in a home affected by alcohol misuse. Without boundaries, your situation is likely to get worse, bringing you to breaking point.

Begin by naming some behaviours that are no longer acceptable in your home. These will be personal to your situation, but could include:

• Drinking within shared living spaces
• Verbal or physical aggression
• Covering for missed work or commitments
• Letting them drive a vehicle while intoxicated
• Neglecting shared responsibilities

These boundaries can become safeguards in difficult times and can reduce the impact of someone else’s drinking on your daily life.

2. Work on who you are independently, without them

When a person you’re living with has grown to depend on alcohol, you might need to develop activities for yourself. It’s easy to lose track of the ways their drinking is having a negative impact on your life. Developing your independence means creating some distance between the two.

Try not to measure your wellbeing by their mood. Focus on what you can control, how you’re spending your time, who you lean on and what supports your stability. Creating this space may be an essential step in protecting yourself from being consumed by their disorder.

3. Practice self-compassion and care

Continuing on from developing your independence, make sure you’re giving yourself enough reprieve through self-care. It is tragically common to see people neglect their own lives because someone close to them is in pain.

Notice when you’re being harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. Prioritise a steady routine of sleep, nutrition and exercise. Keep time dedicated to the things that improve your emotional state. Here, you may even start modelling the kind of self-care routines that the addicted person needs to see, for their own recovery.

4. Understanding alcoholism as a medical condition

Alcohol addiction is widely recognised as a chronic and progressive illness. Viewing it through this lens can help you separate the person you care about from the behaviours driven by their dependency. This doesn’t excuse their harmful actions, but it can help those actions feel less personal.

Many partners and family members of addicted people quietly blame themselves, when they shouldn’t. Reframing addiction can help relieve that burdensome feeling, reinforcing the fact that recovery cannot be forced by your love alone. It requires that they take the step towards recovery.

5. Be open to outside support when you need it

You might have spent many years living with an alcoholic, convinced that your loyalty means enduring everything alone. This can be a dangerous way of looking at the situation, draining you of energy. It is clear that no partner or family member should be expected to manage their situation alone.

Having external support can bring back some perspective, which could easily have been lost over the years. Speaking with others who understand life alongside addiction, be it peer groups or professional guidance, can make the load feel much lighter. Make sure you aren’t keeping the doors closed on those who are offering you help, from the outside.

Could I be enabling their drinking without realising it?

When someone you care about is struggling with alcohol, it’s natural to want to protect them from harm. You might step in to smooth things over, cover missed responsibilities or minimise the fallout of their drinking, anything to stop things from getting worse.

Over time, however, these protective instincts can drift into enabling. When the consequences of drinking are mitigated by another person, the addiction only deepens. To understand whether this might be the case for you, try reflecting honestly on some of the ways you try to make their life easier:

• Do I make excuses for their drinking, or hide the truth from others?
• Have I ever drunk alongside them just to try and stop them from drinking to excess?
• Do I feel guilty when I suggest limits to them?
• Do I give them money, knowing that they’ll use it for alcohol?

If one or many of these questions resonate with you, it may be a sign that outside support is becoming urgent. Reaching out and speaking with a professional can protect both your well-being and their chances of creating positive changes.

I need support. Who can I talk to?

If someone else’s drinking is impacting your life, it’s important to know that support is available and you don’t have to manage this alone. Living with alcoholism can take a quiet toll over time and reaching out for guidance can bring relief and clarity.

At Oasis Bradford, we specialise in complete recovery for those struggling with alcoholism. Our team has experience in medical alcohol detox and we use evidence-based therapies to help you get to the root of addictive behaviours. Aftercare is in place to keep you supported, no matter how difficult the journey gets.

Speaking to someone doesn’t commit you to treatment, but it can be your meaningful first step towards stability. Contact us to start the journey into a healthier future, free from the shackles of addiction.